50 Ways to Get Ryou to Rip Your Head Off
by Mew-Sahara
Summary: Fifty fabulous ways to get Ryou to rip your head off. And the more, the better things will get. Note: We are not responsible for any injuries that might occur in doing these actions.
1. The First 25

_**-is shot for not updating- **_

… **I know, I know. I wasn't dead….**

**Let's just say it was school. And the fact I'm a total lazy butt and procrastinate like no other. ;P**

**Well, because all of you, my wonderful reviewers, I in fact did not need to think of any ideas for this chapter. Thank you guys! A total no brainer for me.**

**And I needed that.**

**School is KILLER.**

**All those who entered ideas will have their names mentioned next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: You think I own Tokyo Mew Mew? What are you on?**

**AND NOW THE LONG AWAITED……**

**---**

50 Ways to Get Ryou to Rip Your Head Off

Note: I am NOT responsible for any injuries you sustain from performing these acts. Ryou's easily angered, so don't come crying to me.

1. Wake him up in the middle of the night saying you've found a Mew Aqua. When he finds out you've lied and asks, "Why'd you wake me up at 2:00 AM for that?!" shine a flashlight in your face and say: "Come join the dark side. We have pie!" Merely grin when Ryou asks why Pai would join a crazy fangirl/guy like you.

2. 1. Steal his clothes, and leave only Pudding's uniform for him to wear.

3. Whenever he gets crabby around people, announce, "Don't worry; Ryou's not mad at you. It's just that time of the month."

4. When the Cafe is full and he is in earshot, say: "Ladies and gentleman, I'd like to announce that Ryou Shirogane has just come out of the closet, and we're having a coming out party Sunday at 7:30 sharp. You're all invited, so be there!"

5. When Ryou is asleep shave him bald and super glue a clown's wig to his head. Then, strip him naked (he keeps his underwear), paint his face blue, and super glue a round red nose to his real nose. When he wakes up he should be in a popular mall.

6. Take a big hammer and have fun in the basement lab.

7. When everyone is quiet in the Cafe scream out to Ryou "Ryou, how's your affair going with Keiichiro?! You know you shouldn't cheat on Masaya!" Count to 10 and run like heck.

8. Say, "RYOU IS THE FRIKKEN HOTTEST GUY IN THE WORLD! BY THE WAY, I AM HIGH ON CRACK! DON'T LISTEN TO A THING I SAY! THANK YOU!" in the middle of a calm café. Wait for hysterical laughter and a seriously angered Ryou to find you.

9. Ask him the deal between him and Keiichiro, and when he is going to resolve his issues between him and Pudding.

10. Get his bank account number, and spend it all. Then when he checks his account, scream "Boo-yah!" Then run as fast as your little legs can carry you. And then some.

11. Give him sleeping pills in his drink (all that coffee he drink gets to him eventually) and when he is knocked out have Kish transport him to the top of the Eiffel Tower in France. Make sure you have access to a French newspaper to see the results.

12. Tie him to your fridge and force-feed him baby food. Make sure he's tied tightly. The whole transforming into a cat thing can be an easy get away.

13. Tie him to your ceiling fan and turn it on. (Make sure you have insurance on your fan.)

14. Lock him in the cafe alone with every fan-girl that he has in the room (it's got to be a big room) and hold a "hug-and-kiss Ryou" party.

15. Surprise him every time he goes somewhere public by covering him in silly string. (Make sure to have lots of silly string on hand.)

16. Force him to watch Kish kiss Ichigo. (Though Ichigo would probably be the most likely to cause you injury.)

17. When Ryou friend sleeps, tape him to the bed, bring out a flashlight, put it in his face, and yell, "TRAIN!" Have a train video playing in the background. Then sing about 'Thomas the Tank Engine.'

18. Have someone tell Ryou they found all the Mew Aqua(or something equally important), then crashed his computer. Or all of them.

19. Have fun painting his room to Pudding and Mint's tastes.

20. Ask him why his name as a cat is Alto. Say, "Is it because you have such a high voice?" Then proceed to call him Soprano.

21. When ever he comes into the area scream, "ARAYAN!" Raise a Nazi flag above the café and put multiple flags into his room.

22. Chuck catnip into a closet and once he follows lock the door behind him. Once he is passed out tie him to a chair and force him to watch magical girl anime over and over.

23. Cosplay as a Sailor Moon character and dance around him saying, "I know this is where you got the idea isn't it? You know you were influenced by girly anime!" Then proceed to whap him on the head with the weapon of the Sailor you are dressed up as.

24. When he sleeps come into his room and dip his hand in warm water. When he complains that he wet the bed the next morning just grin and call him a baby. Repeat the hand dipping until he finds out it is you.

25. Die his hair purple and tell him that with a bit more sarcasm added to his personality he could become Pie. (Pie may not be too pleased with you…)

---

**Any more bright ideas out there? –**_**looks around-**_** PM or review then right on in! They'll be used for sure.**

**You got any ideas to annoy Pie? Those would be greatly appreciated as well. :D**

**If the last few aren't so funny, I'm not particularly hyper or do I have any good jokes right now. If there are repeats I apologize. (The Nazi and old German comment was not meant to be hurtful or stupid in anyway. I'm sorry if it was. Again, no ideas...)**

**Thanks for all your help peeps! I would have not been able to write this for a long time if you guys hadn't given me idea.**

**See you next chapter! **_**–grins evilly-**_

**By the way, look out for a joint project from The-Toilet-Ninja. We'll be working on a project (if I wasn't so slow and a procrastinator). And T-T-N, the phone bill problem is no problem. I'm so slow I don't think it'll matter. XD**


	2. The Finishing Blows

**THANK YOU, THANK YOU THANK YOU for all of your reviews, favorites, ideas, and support. I wouldn't have been able to get this far (nor would I have as many ideas, I would have run out ages ago) without you all.**

**Special shoutouts to the following users who submitted ideas to this edition of **50 Ways to Get Ryou to Rip Your Head Off**: (in no particular order)**

**PaixZakuro22, **Blessed Relief, **rockchick3000, **Mew Somomo, **MewCuxie12, **Sk8erGrl Chan, **Kitty Kat K.O.,** Mysterious Non-User, **Thoughtless7,** Misha12, **Keiran Pudding, **ninja-freak13, **kisshu-is-mine, **MewCherryMew, **and several others (I'm sorry if any names were forgotten! Consider yourselves to redeem a few oneshot from myself if I forgot you!)**

**This, my friends, is **_**THE**_** original '50 Ways to Get Ryou to Rip Your Head Off'. EXCEPT NO COPIES, IMATATORS, OR IMPOSTERS. :3**

**Thank you!**

**--**

_Note: We are NOT responsible for any injuries you sustain from performing these acts. Ryou's pretty easy to anger, so be warned now._

--

26. Whenever he comes into a ten-foot radius, starting singing 'The Circle of Life' and other Disney songs at the top of your lungs.

27. Follow him around with a large stick, and continue to whack him with it at five-second intervals. When he turns to look at you, pretend you are using it was a walking stick. When you come to the conclusion that he'll beat you if you poke him for much longer, whack him as hard as you can and run.

28. Whenever he's distracted tie his shoelaces together.

29. Make fun of his shirt with the straps that come out on the sides by calling the straps 'bra straps'.

30. Follow him making obscure magical girl manga and anime references, and ask him if he recognizes them, since he is so well acquainted with the Mews.

31. When he falls asleep, draw on his face with permanent marker. Replace any nearby soap supplies with ink or honey.

32. If he questions you, respond to every question "Because!" or "Why?"

33. Find a Chimera Anima and make it your pet. Set it loose in Ryou's basement laboratory. Listen for screams of fury.

34. Send Ichigo on vacation for a day and lay catnip out in the girls' locker room. **WARNING**: Follow this particular instruction could get four highly trained super heroines chasing after you as well. Proceed with caution.

35. Force Ichigo to let Ryou kiss her. After they're done, have Ichigo pull away and say, "Aww, too bad Masaya kisses better." (Note: blackmailing material may be needed to convince Ichigo to agree to this plan.)

36. Get Pudding to ask Lettuce how she feels about Ryou. Shove them in a room with Ryou tied to a chair and force him to watch Lettuce squealing and blushing while Pudding does those random freaky cartwheels.

37. Put Keiichiro into Ryou's bed while he's asleep so that he wakes up next to him.

38. Dress him up as one of the Sailor Starlights (bikini top, hot pants, leather gloves/boots and a pony tail) and make him wait tables in the outfit.

39. Pay Kish (from Ryou's bank account, of course) to try and take him on a romantic date.

40. Ask him "If you're such a genius then what's the answer to this question?" When he asks "What question?" say, "THIS question!" Repeat until he tries to kill you. Then run.

41. When in a public place, come up from behind Ryou and yell, "YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME WITH A MAN? AGAIN?!" and kick him in his 'Happy Place'.

42. Tell him that Masaya also likes Lettuce; when he founds it's a lie, run for your life.

43. Ask him if he created the café to simply have a constant harem of girls around him.

44. When he's drinking...something or other, tell him that the lab's on fire. When he rushes off in a panic, switch his drink will something containing lots of sugar. Then when he comes back complaining, just shrug saying you're sorry, it was a mistake and then watch as he drinks your sugar-concoction. Wait until he is really high then tell him he has to make a video of him pretending to be a fairy. MAKE SURE YOU BRING YOUR CAMERA - and a fairy dress or two... The next morning when he has calmed down, ask him if he wants to watch a movie with you (Note: if he says no, whine until he changes his mind) then show him the video of himself.** CAUTION**: to pull this off you must be a REALLY fast runner.

45. Go golfing in the park, and shoot directly for the café's windows.

46. Gather a crowd of his fangirls and tell them it is 'Steal-A-Piece-Of-Ryou's-Clothing Day'.

47. Ask him why his cat name is after a girl's singing part. Call him a 'woman singer' whenever he's in conversation with others.

48. Record all of the successfully completed steps.

49. Post the results online with footage from number 48.

50. LIVE.

--

"GET OFF OF THE ROOF, GOD DANG IT! AND TAKE DOWN THAT STUPID NAZI FLAG WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!" Ryou screams at the roof. Hysterical giggling is his only answer.

"Hey, mommy!" cried a little kid, while pointing at the yelling Ryou. "Mommy, why does that man have a moustache and glasses drawn on his face? And why is his hair look like a clown's?"

The mother shushed the child. "Stay away from him, honey. His freakishness might be contagious!"

"Ryou-nii-chan, na no da! I didn't know it was your time of the month, na no da!" Pudding chirped happily as she skipped out of the café door. "And can I have my uniform back, na no da?"

"Did you see this?" Ichigo asked, waving a newspaper out of the café's door. "There was a strange blonde haired man spotted at the top of the Eiffel Tower screaming something about 'Kisshu!' Almost like he knew that perverted alien, huh?"

A line of silly string shoots down from the top of the café and the tune of 'It's a Small World' is clearly heard coming from the same direction.

Ryou lets out a scream of anger, sending the mother and her child running in fear.

--

**Hope you enjoyed it! Remember, except no copies, imitations, or stealers of this story. This is the one and only original! **

**Next up: '50 Ways to Get Pai to Rip Your Head Off'! And ideas from those wonderful brains of yours? Send 'em in!**

**Thanks for stickin' with this story and sending in your ideas. It's greatly appreciated!**


End file.
